One of my current “reads” is Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, Ph.D. This book has been around since 2002 but I am finding what I believe to be a lot of wisdom in it — and to top it off, his ideas are evidence-based which means that his thoughts are based not on conjecture. A particularly interesting chapter is “Happiness in the Present” (chapter 7) in which he talks about various pleasures: bodily pleasures and higher pleasures. Bodily pleasures such as the feel of a nice hot shower after a days worth of grime; tasting, hearing, textures, etc., are all among the bodily pleasures. He defines the higher pleasures as more complex and more cognitive in nature. Experiences such as vigor, glee, ebullience, enthusiasm he characterizes as high intensity pleasures; those such as comfort, satiation, amusement, and relaxation characterize low intensity pleasures.
Seligman goes on to talk about how one may enhance their pleasure. One way he says, is savoring. He credits Bryant and Veroff of Loyola University with the definition of savoring, which they describe as “the awareness of pleasure and of the deliberate conscious attention to the experience of pleasure”. Bryant and Veroff list strategies for promoting the savoring of pleasure:
Sharing with others– they state this the the single strongest predictor fo the level of pleasure.
Memory-Building — by recalling clearly or taking a physical souvenir of a moment of pleasure.
Self-Congratulation — tell yourself how impressed others are and remember how long you’ve waited for the pleasure to occur
Sharpening Perceptions — one focuses in on certain elements of the pleasure and blocks out others, like listening to music with eyes closed.
Absorption – allowing for total immersion in the pleasure and not think or judge the experience; only sense it.
How long has it been since you have allowed yourself the pleasure of pleasure? How often do you do the exact opposite of absorption by multi-tasking? Life coaching can help you to heighten your awareness of pleasure by helping you to increase your intentionality about everything you do. I help people to live more intentionally. I would love to talk to you about how an extraordinary coaching relationship with me can help you to live meaningfully and with pleasure. I welcome your calls and emails; 802.373.3547.
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Rob: This is easier said than done. Sometimes I feel that it’s better to “hang on” to a friend rather than let them go. This is very challenging to me, and I can see why someone would want to have a coach to help them through this process.